I also want to write something about why I haven’t been obviously and actively political; why in fact I’ve been put off.

It’s an awful thing to say but I’m actually scared.  Yes that’s right in a modern, democratic country as citizens and leaders stand up for freedom of speech in the face of horrific violence I’m scared to say something meaningful because I’ve seen that women (and indeed men) having and articulating opinions, possibly contentious opinions,  in public fora attracts abuse ranging from the patronising to the disgustingly violent.

Personally, I am more fearful of the boorish and bullying trolling that passes for public discourse and online debate in this country than I am of terrorist attack or ‘Sharia law taking over my country’. My country is already full of anti-social, vicious people shutting down views that don’t conform to theirs. Is this the freedom of speech we are defending?

I do occasionally fear acts of terrorism and vicious criminality but no more today than I did as a student in London in the 90s wondering where the IRA may strike or maybe a nail bomber who is not a fan of minorities. No more than I fear travelling home on a train later in the evening.

Yet as a mature, capable, intelligent, homosexual woman in 21st century Britain I do increasingly think

“actually I don’t want to put myself in a position where people seem to think it would be perfectly acceptable to sneer, bully, threaten and abuse me just for having an opinion or being a bit different. Why bother?”

That’s apathy based on fear of my ordinary fellow citizens not foreign extremists. The risk of me suffering a fatal terrorist attack is utterly unpredictable so I fear it less; the risk of me encountering distempered debate and personal abuse seems utterly predictable so I fear it more and am more altered by it.

People will say it’s not the same. Angry trolls respond with verbal barbs not guns; men who ask if you want to have sex with them on the train aren’t so scary; murderous ideologues are the only bad guys to fear because they are the worst. But that’s what terrorism is about isn’t it? Using fear in order to influence the behaviour of others not the actuality? Such relativism is a taxonomy of criminality, deviance from legal codes, not a measure of fear. Extremism’s very sensationalism makes it both more shocking and less likely than the more petty acts that insidiously feed my anxieties. I fear them all.

So yes, I’ve been practicing a form of self-censorship as an act of self protection.  Then you reflect on people who are brave enough to stand up for what they believe in the face of violence and horror I cannot imagine and you realise, as many others have done before, that the insecurities of bullies will never be assuaged by appeasement.

My failure to participate becomes part of the failure of the Left, a failure of social democracy, a failure of pluralism, a failure of achieving a human civilisation that is safer and fairer for all and, failure to prevent unnecessary damage to the rich and precious ecosystem of our planet.

You have to be part of public debates if you want to change things however uncomfortable, difficult and even tedious at times that may be. I have to hope that talking about the world with others will turn out to be more polite, respectful and thoughtful than I fear.